The VET: Vampire Elephant Troll

I’ve been in my apartment since August 8th and I’ve loved every thing about my apartment. My apartment is spacious and accommodating complete with all the Sam-isim’s like my artwork, my colors, my style – me! It’s my apartment down to the very last blanket on the couch. I’ve loved everything about it, until recently – until the emergence of the Vampire Elephant Troll.

The Coffee that I've been hiding behind all morning because I'm a grouch.

For the most part, the apartment complex has been ridiculously quiet. Quiet much to the point that I thought that I may be the only person who actually lived there, but that is a fallacy. About two weeks ago I was  rudely awaken from a deep slumber at about 2am on Monday morning. From 2am until 4:30am I couldn’t sleep. I’m not being jolted from my sleep by loud music, screaming, movies, or anything like that – I’m being woken up by the Vampire Elephant Troll who stomps around their apartment in the obscure hours of the night. The first time it happened I just rolled my eyes as I tossed and turned listening to the walls shake and the ceiling sounding like it was going to cave beneath their feet. I finally fell asleep around 4:45am only to wake to my alarm at 6am. Then, that next night, as I was so tired from a full day of work and school, I found myself in the very same scenario from 3-5am. You would imagine that, seeing as I didn’t sleep the night before, that I would have been exhausted and fallen quickly into a deep sleep only to stay there until my alarm that sits next to my head stared blaring at me. False. Absolutely false. VET was at it again.

From 3am to 5am I listened as the VET stomped from one end of the apartment to another end of the apartment. I would imagine, seeing as I’m fairly certain the layout of my apartment is exactly the same as the VET, that I can properly map out every single place the VET has stomped to and from. The VET goes from the bedroom, to the bathroom, to the closet, to the kitchen, to the living room – it sounds like the VET is running circles in it’s apartment. Continuously. For three hours at a time. It’s not like it’s walk, walk, walk – do something standing in one place for twenty minutes – walk, walk, walk – do something else for twenty minutes. It’s seriously like a symphony of stomping for three-freaking-hours. I finally fell asleep around 5:15am.

On the third night I was so over it. I’m a very sleep dependent creature. For those who can function without sleep? I commend you, and hate you a little bit, but that is something that I’m simply not capable of. So, when I was jolted from my sleep thinking that I was living in California experiencing an Earthquake, I decided enough was enough. I put on a jacket, pulled my hair up and stumbled up to apartment  2100G and knocked. Nothing. I knocked again. Nothing. So I went down to my apartment and took a sheet of notebook paper, composed a letter and stuck it on the VET’s door:

Dear Neighbor in 2100G:

The Letter

It’s 2:45am and its the 3rd night in a row that you’ve woken me up from a dead sleep at this hour.

I understand we live in an apartment and that we are going to hear people walking around; BUT, please be mindful of how heavy you are walking around at such a late/early hour. 

I would really appreciate a full nights sleep. I knocked lightly on your door to ask you this morning to please be quiet, but you didn’t answer.

Feel free to come ask me or talk to me about whatever you’d like.


2100C (Samantha)

p.s. Sorry about the handwriting; I’m exhausted. 

…and then, it was like my letter had served its purpose – the stomping Vampire Elephant Troll stopped stomping around their apartment for nearly two weeks. I had nearly two weeks of deep, healthy, luxurious sleep. That is, until this past week when the VET returned. Sunday night to Monday morning, Monday night to Tuesday morning, Tuesday night to Wednesday morning and then last night.  I’m so damn sleepy that I can’t stand it. Last night I slept with my door to my bedroom patio cracked for some white noise and it didn’t help.

What do I do? Is “my neighbor above me stomping around their apartment at obscure hours of the evening” a viable complaint? What can they do? Tell the VET to stop stomping around or go to bed? It’s not like the VET is playing loud music.  It’s not like the VET is having a party upstairs. It just sounds like the VET is on speed for three hours and can’t sit still, but the problem still remains – I’m losing sleep and getting super irritated. 

I’m thinking that if this happens again tonight I’ll just knock on their door until they open. They’ll get to see me all crazy eyed and annoyed. I just want them to stop stomping around and go to freaking bed.

What do I do…

3 thoughts on “The VET: Vampire Elephant Troll

  1. I know this troll!!!

    But we all know that this comes down to science.

    With every good apartment comes an equal and opposite Vampire Elephant Troll.

  2. Pingback: Weeeeee, not. I’ll do it tomorrow. « A Day After the Bottle

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