Junk mail.

She subscribes to everything. She likes Food Network, because it makes her think about cooking. And she likes her subscriptions to outdoor magazines. She likes to see the landscape in New Zealand, and the rock climbers in the Grand Canyon. She really likes the scuba divers in the Great Barrier Reef, but she worries about the sharks. But the fish are pretty in the clear blue ocean water. She thinks about going there, especially when she gets the emails from Delta and Southwest Air. She could go one day, she could.

She likes the emails about fashion the best. Ann Taylor, Gucci, Kenneth Cole, Banana Republic – they are all so beautiful, those models in their beautiful stances and poses. She looks into their eyes; she sees them through the computer screen at 3am, and she tilts her head to the side and asks how they “are doing.” She puts her fingers on the screen and wonders what it must be like to be that beautiful.

She likes the emails she gets from the Princes from Nigeria. She gets an email once a month and she always responds “I don’t know how to help you, but I hope you find what you’re looking for!” She thinks he’s sick, since the email is always the same, and she always responds with “I don’t know how to help you, but I hope you find what you’re looking for!” She thinks he has old timers disease. She read about it once, in an email from the American Medical Association, and then again when she got the email from Roger Ebert and his movie reviews about Planet of the Apes. She was confused why old people got a disease that monkeys got, too. Old timers disease.

She likes the emails she gets from Overstock dot-com, but she worries for the people who work there. It must be so hard to work for them; they must be so cramped in that warehouse. So she orders from them once day and always puts in the comment line “Hopefully this will make your day easier!” She’s always worried about things like that. She doesn’t want people to suffer. That’s why she sends her packages that she orders to the Nigerian Prince. She tells him in the other memo, on the would you like to write a note on your gift? line, that she “hope this helps you! And your people.” She gets the subscriptions to National Geographic, she worries about the people in Africa.

She only gets junk mail. She always clicks the “Yes! I would like to subscribe” box on websites, and emails. It helps her.



So, yesterday I wrote a blog post called Sally Says. It was a short, little clip that demonstrated my frustration with school loans (Salle Mae) and my revolving emotion of the idea of taking one out to finish my English degree. However, people seemed to enjoy it, as I got a lot of responses from it in my email, and I was asked to write more short clips.

So I decided to write another one.

8 thoughts on “Junk mail.

  1. Anti-depressants, National Geographic and Africa! We must be on the same wavelength. Love your “Overstock dot-com” humor. So glad to have stopped by again.

      • I have not played the hat game, but I love games as a rule (not D&D or anything video…blah). Please fill me in on the rules! As for the Black Crowes: at one point in my life I wanted so bad to be Chris Robinson (it didn’t hurt when he married Kated Hudson either).

      • Kate Hudson is b-e-a-utiful!

        Hat Game! Get someone, or find a source, and randomly pick out five different words. You then have to figure out how to incorporate those words into a short story, or poem! It’s fun and challenging!

        Like, for this post my five words: Ann Taylor, National Geographic, diseases, subscribe, Help.

  2. There is SO a song in this somewhere. It sort of reminds me of She Talks To Angels by the Black Crows but it has a Beatles feel to it as well.
    There is definately a song in this somewhere.

  3. Pingback: The Moody Writer. « A Day After the Bottle

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