Sometimes doubt floods my mind like a cancerous cell with the potential for metastasis. It’s like the movie Inception. Cobb says that the most resilient parasite is “An idea. Resilient, highly contagious. Once an idea has taken hold of the brain it’s almost impossible to eradicate. An idea that is fully formed, fully understood. That sticks, right in there somewhere.”

That’s how I feel about doubt. Doubt in itself is almost like its own manifesto – it’s mark on my brain that it’s going to royally dick me over until I no longer have doubt. And to eradicate this doubt is nearly impossible, as is the idea. It manifests into a depression. A depression that almost consumes me as much as the doubt itself.

This is different than apathy, though the action of becoming apathetic certainly follows, but it’s not the same. I’m just not certain what I need to do to get this cancerous thought out of my head.

One thought on “Doubt.

  1. I’m not necessarily sure whether or not this holds true for everyone, however i strongly believe that doubt in itself is slowly and surely erased by accomplishment. In truth it does not have to be accompishment on some grand scale, just a slow and steady pace of small victories and successes. Eventually they add up and turn into life altercating successes. Furthermore i also believe that success comes at the price of blood, sweat, and tears. So my question is, do yo think you’ve bled enough, sweated enough, and cried enough?

    Eventually doubt is replaced by confidence, no one said it would be an easy road Sam.

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