Have you ever been in a crowded room, people bumping into your shoulders, knocking into your arms and body, and you still have this crawling emotion of feeling alone? That feeling that starts creeping deeper and deeper into the limbs of your body that leaves your fingers and toes feeling numb?
I haven’t felt that in a long, long time. That is, of course, until recently.
Sometimes I think that people forget that being outright assholes is better than being assholes behind your back. That false misconception that you wont hurt as much if you just say it to others, instead of to them directly. However, what people don’t understand is that the only person that facade is protecting is themselves, because they are too chicken to actually have the courage to say what it is they are absolutely comfortable saying behind the security of closed doors.
I’ve come across this lately – this falseness. This fake-ness. And more than anything, that Good Ol’ Sweet Southern Georgia Charm. Screw that. I’m tired of the South. I’d rather be a Yankee any day, with that Yankee give-it-to-em-straight attitude. At least then I’d actually know the people who aren’t shady little slugs when I’m not around, but the beautiful little daisies to my face.
It’s just left be feeling “blah.” It’s left me feeling hurt, and last night, though this actually isn’t about anything that happened last night, only made things worse.
I’m just – blah.