Are you interested? Part 1.

Edit: This is the original about me. I’m updating it. It will be on another page.

I started this blog after a night of binge drinking of wine, which is why it is a appropriately named as “A day after the bottle”. Yes, I intended for the entire thing to run together, mainly because that’s how I see when I’ve drank a full bottle of Pino. Yellow Tail, too. Not a bad brand.

There’s a lot to know about me: I have a journal where I free write, with a pen, that is full of crazy things. I love wine, both red and white, and enjoy everything about it. Oyster Bay and Cline are my two favorite cellars. I’m a painter, though I suck at it, and I’m an English major. I’ve fallen more in love with Poetry lately, especially Zachary Schomburg, but I don’t neglect my favorite poem of all time, Church Going. It’s by Philip Larkin.

I have a family, but it’s much bigger than just my immediate family. I’m a care taker and when you become my friend, I give you a special kind of love and admiration. I will help you as often as you need. I like being like a patch and helping when you need it.

I’m also scared shitless. Don’t let my confidence fool you, it’s a rouge. I constantly battle, internally, with all the demons that fester and wallow in the pit of my stomach. I have a devil on my left and a devil on my right. Sometimes that angel makes an appearance, but most of the time, she hides. She’s scared, too, of the devils.

I’m love. I hurt. I ache. I dance. I cry. I sing. I’m free. I’m writing a new chapter of my life, by myself, but with my friends. I don’t believe in marriage and I struggle, constantly, with the idea of organized religion. I don’t know if I believe in heaven.

I miss my Nonnie and every time I see a dragonfly or butterfly, I think of her. For the first time in three and a half years since she passed away, I had a butterfly land cautiously, but happily, on the back of someone that I have suspicions of. I don’t know what it means, but I feel that every dragonfly or butterfly is her telling me things. When she passed, I would see fields covered in them, and they would dance in little cyclones around me. A few days ago, a dragonfly sat atop my head with that very same person. Suspicious, I tell you.

I’m rambling. Welcome to my free writing, except, this is at least edited for grammar.

2 thoughts on “Are you interested? Part 1.

  1. We’re all scared shitless. 🙂 We have two choices of what to do with that fear though; run from it and atrophy, or face it dead on and grow, every single time. You’ve taken the first step to finding your true courage by admitting your fears. As it says in Way of the Peaceful Warrior, “a warrior is not about invulnerability. A warrior is about absolute vulnerability.”

    Peace, grace & courage,
    ~Miro

  2. I totally agree with Miro. And I recommend his choice in books. If you get a chance rad Way Of The Peaceful Warrior. Another quote from it that I meditate on constantly is simply
    “There are no ordinary moments”
    Each time you face another challenge in your life, look at it as an opportunity to grow even further. Each moment is special and precious. We have a choice: live in fear of adversity or learn and grow from it. Everything and every moment is special even if it doesn’t seem so at the time.

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